Are you into online dating? Do you use sites like Match.com, eHarmony, Craigslist, Plenty of Fish, or Christian Mingle? Did you ever wonder if you date is really who he says he is? If you’re not careful, you can dragged into crazy (and maybe even dangerous) situations.
I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve tried online dating, and have been amazed at the lies my dates would tell. I walked away from one situation saying to myself, “That was boyfriend fraud!” And guys… women can be just as shady, so you have to look out for girlfriend fraud.
Pursuit Magazine just published an article about the book InvestiDate: How to Investigate Your Date: The Liars, Cheaters, Con Artists and Convicts Won’t Stand a Chance!, by Maria Coder.
The article points out just a few of the helpful tips in the book. Yes, it is advisable to take a little bit of time to check up on your date, whether you’re heading out to a first date or you’ve been in a relationship for months of years. What you don’t know can hurt you, and this book gives important and effective tips for finding out more about your (potential) boyfriend or girlfriend.
And don’t worry that anyone will think you’re creepy for digging into publicly available information about your date. What is more important: Your safety or their opinion that investigating your date is weird?
Some of the InvestiDate tips offered by Maria Coder include:
- Check criminal databases. Free sites like FamilyWatchdog.us or CriminalCheck.com offer information on registered sex offenders. You can also go directly to state or local websites that maintain court records to check civil, criminal, and family courts. Wouldn’t you want to know if the guy who told you he is childless, really has three kids? There are also paid databases like Intelius.com, which are relatively cheap and have lots of useful information.
- If you’re interested in who your date is calling (or being called by), you can use SpyDialer.com to hear the outgoing voicemail message for that number. The person’s phone never rings, but you can hear a recording of the voicemail.
- Post more than one personal ad. If the same person responds to both ads, compare the information given and make sure it matches. If he or she is telling two different stories in the responses, run away from this liar quickly.