In an exiting new development, Hedge Funnies reports (satirically) that GNC will begin offering a product that will give users eternal life.

But this well-informed and extremely healthy employee told us something revolutionary — he has heard from sources well-placed in the GNC chain of command that the company is shortly going to roll out its “GNC Fountain of Youth” product.The employee said the following:

“Although, asterisk, this product is not regulated by the FDA and it’s not intended to cure or reduce any disease, the product will allow users to live forever.”

I believe they’re going to sell it via GNC’s new multi-level marketing unit. What better way to sell secret potions?