A public company which shall remain nameless is currently searching for new independent auditors. Is your auditing firm interested? Here are some notable facts about the company. Please email me if you’d like information on this new potential client!!!

This public company boasts that it is a leader in its industry, and has had 19 consecutive quarters of record earnings.

Additional details about this fabulous auditing client opportunity:

• A former member of the company’s board of directors claimed he had a Masters degree when he did not.
• A former member of the company’s medical advisory board claimed he was a doctor when in fact he had no medical license.
• The company’s CFO claimed in SEC filings that he was a Certified Public Accountant, when he was not.
• A member of the company’s audit committee claimed in SEC filings that he was a Certified Public Accountant, when he was not.
• Reported conflicting stories to two different federal agencies about the exact same issue. (Both can’t be true at the same time, therefore, one is a lie.)
• Company officials continue to call one particular critic a liar, despite the fact that they have not refuted any of the substantive accusations. (However, the company has proven that there is one more speck or grape seed extract in its vitamins compared to the results of testing by an independent laboratory.)
• According to someone claiming to be a Usana insider, the company has booked entries to construction accounts in excess of reality.
• Has accused a certain critic of masterminding a naked short selling conspiracy, despite the lack of any apparent evidence of such.
• Recently filed an unreviewed 10-Q, in violation of SEC rules.
• Recently received a Nasdaq delisting letter.
• Possibly in default (or in danger of default) under at least one provision of its loan documents with Bank of America, the bank that gave the company a $40 million line of credit.
• Currently under investigation by the FBI, as confirmed by two reporters.
• Company’s recent record earnings and distributor figures are suspect.
• The prior auditors resigned after requesting additional procedures be performed during a review of financial statements, and the company declined.
• The company’s most recent 10-Q shows a balance sheet of a barely solvent company. Stockholders’ equity is only about 1/4 of what it was six short months earlier.

If your auditing firm is interested in this opportunity, please check first with your professional liability carrier. You may wish to increase your policy limits significantly to address legal issues that will most assuredly come up soon.